Couples Reviews

Checkerboard hot pants walking slowly away from the camera, slowly with the twisty-legged stripper walk make me think of Rick Nielsen’s old-school Vans from a Cheap Trick concert. “I want you, to want me.” Thus begins another installment of John Leslie’s twisted, dirty-talking vision of porn in America. All to the tune of saxophone jazz and harmonica. I love this guy.

If you’re looking for a plot, you’re in the wrong place. There isn’t much rising action or denouement here… just straight up, no holds barred fucking. For men, this movie is a means to an end. For women, I couldn’t tell you, aside from the fact that there might be some out there with enough “fuck the plot” in them to enjoy such a flick. Speaking for myself, I enjoy it… that’s why it’s in my collection.

One of the things I enjoy most about this movie is the often silly, dirty mumbling from the actors. “Stick it in that hole… really deep… feel her heart beat.” “There you go, fuck that candy apple ass.” This is poetry at its finest. Though it nowhere near approaches the fine verse of Lexington Steele in Spanish Fly Pussy Search 9 (”it’s like a Three Musketeers dipped in white chocolate”), it’s still right on up there with the finest in exceptional porn -speak.

Each scene, though there isn’t any storyline to speak of, begins with a nice POV dialogue by the director. He asks politely if he can reach out and touch her ass, and like the polite little women they are they always oblige the man that pays the bills in kind.

These women are hot. They all appear to be exotic dancers, based on how they move. If you’re into painted eyebrows, dim looks and tight asses (typical porn chicks) then John Leslie’s movies will probably fit the bill nicely. This is fantasy sex, replete with perfectly waxed pussies and women more than willing to take it up the ass hard, swallow a face full of cum, and moan artificially for a man’s pleasure.

The men, both black and white, in Leslie’s movies are hung like horses. I don’t know where he finds these aberrations of masculinity.

Leslie’s lighting is harsh sometimes. I think he films many of his scenes first thing in the morning, judging from the naturally lit quality of his movies. Often there is a (albeit artistic) glare that obscures what it is you’re here to see (cock going into pussy). Sometimes my eyes hurt watching it.

For you adventurous folks out there, we experience a nice bit of G-spot squirting in the second scene. It’s nice to see this in a movie, especially when the male actors actually know how to do it.

Scene number three features a Katja Kassin in stripes, marking a stylistically stark contrast to the checkerboard hot pants featured in the first scene. Of all the cracks in this movie, this crack is the one that gets jacked the best in my opinion. In fact, the main reason I bought this movie was for this scene (I have a weakness for Katja Kassin… her body reminds me a lot of Cecilia’s). Also, this is the first ANAL scene of the movie, and boy does her tight little ass get a workover. This girl’s a champ, folks, and if you’re a fan of the poopenshaften, then you’ll definitely enjoy this scene. In fact, buy this movie for this scene exclusively. That’s my $.02. Oh, and the oral cumshot at the end if one of my all-time favorites.

The final scene’s an interracial one, featuring a characteristically fire-hosed Black man and a proportional white man slamming the hell out of an Asian girl that looks to have a bit of American blood in her. She’s dressed in fine turquoise lingerie and stockings… very nice.

Cecilia made a comment about her pubes… “If you’re going to shave/wax it off, why leave such a big piece of hairy real estate up top?” She’s right… the normal “landing strip” looks a bit odd with such a large Bermuda Grass Triangle above the clit. Anyway, back to the movie…

This final scene of the movie features the second and only anal scene (not enough anal imho). Some anal finger action is nice to see, as well as some good double-penetration. I’m not sure what time of day this scene was shot, but the lighting (again, natural) is much easier on the eyes than the blaring second scene, where I actually had to put on my sunglasses to avoid a headache. The popshot in this scene features some of the most synchronized ejaculations of two male performers that I’ve ever seen, followed by one of the deepest deep throats I’ve ever seen.

For couples-friendliness, I’d have to rate this movie as contingent on the type of mood you and your lady are in. If you’re in a “fuck the plot let’s get to the fucking” mood, then John Leslie’sCrack Her Jack will definitely jack the two of you up for some ass-spanking, hard throat fucking, anally good times.

Good times, good times.

Crack Her Jack 2 at Adult DVD Empire

How much do you like juices asses? John Leslie’s Crack Her Jack series is all about beautiful round asses and plenty of hot fucking. Oh, and seriously massive cocks. And big ole cum shots. Tonight, we review Crack Her Jack 2.

Scene one starts with Dana Vispoli teasing the camera with her juicy curves and slick ass. She masturbates for a while, talking dirty and flicking her click. Out of nowhere, two guys appear on the couch and the three get busy in some interracial action. In one of the longest scenes in porn history, the threesome does just about every position you can imagine– with plenty of spanking, of course. She finally takes massive two pop shots to her mouth, enjoying every second of it.

Scene two features Katsumi in a little black slutty cop outfit and Jayna Woods waiting in the wings. After lots of posing and teasing, the girls take turns giving (another randomly-appearing dude) a blowjob. As the girls then get fucked, there’s a little toe sucking, clit licking, and more spanking. The best part is when Jayna is fingered to have a G-spot orgasm, spewing her girl juice all over the place. Jayna and Katsumi share the cum load at the end of the scene.

Next we have Katja Kassin dressed up as a slutty jailbird in the kitchen. Katja does a very sexy crawl across the floor, showing off her ass before she takes on two dudes (who came out of nowhere. Again.). Katja’s is the first to take (a MASSIVE) cock in the ass. Katja does some ass-to-mouth deep throating, then a little double penetration, then some more anal . . . Phew. Finally she takes a couples of huge cum shots that had me squirming.

The final scene is another threesome with Cris Taliana in some very cute lingerie. There’s not much teasing here– the threesome cuts right to the action. Cris Taliana gets fucked in a variety of positions, including anal and double penetration, before taking both cum shots– miraculously, both guys cum at the exact same time. Watch for the crazy deep-throat at the end. This is probably the shortest scene, but hardly ’short’ by any means.

For my tastes, this hardcore in Crack Her Jack is good. All of the actors enjoy putting on a show (especially Katja Kassin and Dana Vispoli). The male cum shots are big and the cocks even bigger. I really liked that the girls were all natural, and most of them had the type of body I could relate to– cute girls with regular bodies, real boobs, and they appear to have eaten within the last week or so. And the scenes are really long, so you’ve got plenty of time to work yourself up and enjoy the action.

I guess the one thing to be aware of with John Leslie’s movies is that he interacts with the models, touching them, dirty talking, directing them what to do. Luckily it’s not for the whole scene– once the action gets a natural vibe and rhythm, he lets go and just films.

Crack Her Jack 2 was a keeper, IMO, even though I’m a fan of plots and this had ZERO plot to speak of. Cool. Highly recommended for the hardcore fan who likes natural girls, natural action, and models who enjoy putting on a show for your pleasure.

Crack Her Jack 2 at Adult DVD Empire