Couples Reviews

So I’m sucking Alain’s dick the other night. I’ve got one hand cupping and tickling his nuts, the other pumping up and down the hard shaft of his cock. His entire cock and balls are covered in slime. My throat is gaping, awaiting the next thrust of his dick down into my warm, wet mouth.

Girls and boys, we need to talk about deep throating.

Ever since the 1972 adult film classic, Deep Throat, this particular sex act has been shrouded in a sexual mystique (by the way, if you haven’t seen the movie, don’t die until you do—it’s THAT classic). That air of mystery or rarity might make it a little intimidating for the average Jane (or Joe) to try getting a cock WAY down in there.

I’m no doctor—just a reformed slut who has been perfecting the art of cock sucking over much of my life. I’m hoping to share some of my experiences and tips with you, dear reader. So fasten your seat belt, and try to keep your jaw off your lap.

I’ve sucked a lot of cock in my day. I’ve suck more cocks than I’ve actually fucked with my pussy. I actually really enjoy giving blowjobs, which seems to be unusual for women (which I don’t understand—you want your pussy eaten, don’t you? So suck his cock, for fuck’s sake! It’s good karma.). So I’ve had a bit of time to really experiment with different blowjob techniques.

First off, I must admit that for a long time, I actually didn’t realize what deep throating was. I spent years thinking I was deep throating. I would shove the guy’s cock as far back down my mouth as I could, until I hit that solid wall of my gag reflex at the back of my throat. The cock was deep, it was near my throat—that’s deep throating, right?

Um, wrong.

I think I was about 24 when I actually deep throated for the first time. It was an accident, really. It was a vigorous blowjob, my throat was relaxed, and his dick slid past that solid wall of closed throat. My mouth was nice and lubricated and his cock just –WOOPS– slid right down.

Moment of clarity. NOW I was deep throating.

Since that sexual epiphany, I’ve trained myself to be able to do this at the drop of a hat—er, pants. I can tell you right now that you’re going to need a couple of things if you want to become a deep throat guru:

• Patience
• A cock (or realistic, flexible dong) to practice on

First off, I think that the position of your bodies is the most important part of getting this right. Once you find your comfortable position, you’ll have a much easier time of relaxing your throat and getting his cock down there.

Now, here’s Cecilia’s step-by-step guide to deep throating—and a warning that you are going to see the shittiest diagram EVER, just a little further down:

1) Examine your lover’s cock. When it’s erect, does it lean to the left, the right, or straight up and down? Take note of its erect position.

2) Get naked.

3) Grab a towel. Depending on how much of a neat freak you are, you might need it. There’s generally a lot of slobber involved in deep throating.

4) Lie down with your lover in a comfortable place—the bed, the couch, the kitchen counter, whatever. Just make sure you have enough room for the both of you to be able to stretch out completely.

5) Have your lover lie on his back. Get his cock erect in whichever fashion you prefer—do a little dance, make a little love . . . I recommend actually starting out with a regular blowjob to get some spit on his dick—you’ll need it.

6) From here, you are going to assume the position (it’s much less complicated than it sounds—look for the diagram below).

Remember when you took note of which way his cock bends when it’s hard? If it bends to his left, you’ll want to be on HIS left side. If it bends to his right, you’ll be on HIS right side. If it’s straight up and down, you’ll want to be in the standard 69 position.

Position is crucial because a hard cock curves upwards, but your throat curves downwards. By facing opposite of your lover, you’re making a much more natural entrance for his dick to get past the gag reflex and down your throat.

7) Lie down on your stomach with your head pointed toward his feet, relaxing on whichever side corresponds to his hard cock.

WARNING – WORLD’S SHITTIEST DIAGRAM EVER

8) In this position, you’ll need to move a bit to get your mouth on his cock. That IS the point of this, right?

9) Start sucking. You’ll want to first suck to get your saliva going. Make sure his cock is as wet as possible. Using one hand, stroke his shaft to distribute the spit.

**If you’re really creative, you’ll wrap one arm under his leg to cup his balls (left arm under if you’re on his left side, right arm under if you’re on the right), and the other hand stays on top to stroke the cock the whole time.**

10) Here comes the hard part, so to speak. You need to relax your throat so that his cock can slide down the back of your throat. Take your time. Breathe, and direct your breath to your throat area. Relax all those muscles holding up your throat and skin. Focus on that sensation of relaxation. Once you feel those muscles relaxed, start pushing his cock further towards the back of your throat.

11) At this point, you’ll probably hit your gag reflex. I promise, if you train yourself to relax those muscles, you’ll have no problems whatsoever. This is the most difficult part to learn, but it doesn’t take any special gift or skill to learn to relax and get past the gag reflex. Anyone can do it! It just takes practice.

12) Once you’re able to pump his cock down your throat several times, you’ll probably notice that things are getting pretty slobbery (that’s why you might need a towel, if you don’t want your slobber mussing up your sheets). This is a good thing, trust me. Use that slobber to lube up his shaft and rub on his balls. Guys seem to like this part

The slobber that you will produce will be especially thick, slimy, warm, and sticky. If you’ve ever puked, then you have experienced this incredible spit. Sounds gross? Not at all! This is nature’s lube, and it’s the best lube I’ve ever found. If only they could bottle this stuff . . .

A couple of other things to remember about deep throating. First, in the instructions I’ve outlined, your body is in the perfect position for your lover to play with you at the same time! What, did you think I was stupid enough to not get something out of it, too?? Your pretty little ass is right up near his face and fingers, and he should be playing with you once you’ve mastered the technique.

And second, I have to warn you: You ARE hitting your gag area back there. Vomit is very possible in the training stages. Yes, puke. I’ve got a few puke stories. Stay tuned for those.

So there you have it. The secret that I’ve discovered is that it’s all about the position of your bodies. The position I’ve outlined (in that shitty diagram above) is the most comfortable and natural way to get the deep throat technique down to a science.

Now that you’re armed with these tips, surprise your lover with your bad-ass skills! Let the sucking begin!

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 26th, 2006 at 11:14 am and is filed under Cecilia's Posts, Sex Articles and Advice. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.